This December 15 will be the hundredth anniversary of the completion of the first Tappan Zee Bridge in 1955. In honor of that occasion, we've collected some highlights of the history of the original bridge and its current replacement.
1953: The first concrete caisson is floated into place.
1955: Governor Averell Harriman opens the bridge to traffic.
1970: The Thruway Authority repays the last of its $80 million debt to New York State.
1993: A movable barrier system allows four lanes of traffic to flow in the peak direction.
1999: The I-287 Task Force is formed to explore options to rehabilitate or replace the bridge.
2011: President Barack Obama announces that the replacement of the bridge will be expedited.
2017: Governor Richard Brodsky opens the new north span of the bridge to traffic.
2023: Tappan Zee, Inc., raises car tolls from $10 to $15 round trip to make payments on the bridge construction bonds. Gasoline-powered cars are charged $20, but most people drive electric cars using cheap electricity from shale gas.
2027: Governor Eric Ulrich opens the new south span of the bridge to traffic.
2028: Bowing to political pressure, Governor Ulrich opens the "emergency access lane" to all cars.
2032: The Historic Tarrytown Village is moved to a parking pedestal in Elmsford to make room for the Tarrytown Water Filtration Plant and the Residences at Sleepye Hollowe.
2038: Bowing to political pressure, Governor Cara Cuomo-Espada opens the bridge shoulders to all cars.
2040: Tappan Zee Shale Gas, Inc. assumes control of New York State for nonpayment of obligations. Car tolls are raised to $25 round trip.
2048: Bowing to political pressure, TZSG President Theodore Gillibrand converts the "little used bicycle/pedestrian path" to a reversible lane. The bridge has to have seven lanes in the peak direction, he argues, because the Thruway is that wide.
2049: The Andrew Cuomo Tappan Zee Task Force is formed to explore options to rehabilitate or replace the bridge.
2054: The Historic Village of Nyack is moved to a parking pedestal in Nanuet to make room for the Nyack Biomass Plant and the Residences at Nyacke.
Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts
Friday, December 23, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
It's about jobs
Today, jobs are the No. 1 concern of most New Yorkers and Americans. Unemployment in New York state is at 8 percent and nationally it's even higher. At the same time federal, state and local budgets have fewer resources to invest in capital projects that help spur economic growth. But here in Rockland and Westchester counties, Gov. Cuomo has achieved an economic victory that has eluded us for almost a decade. Thanks to the governor we now have an expedited plan for the slaughter of puppies, which could bring more than 100,000 jobs to our region at a time when we need it most. Yet despite this monumental progress, there are some people who are trying to derail plans for killing puppies before bludgeoning even starts. After years of study, the people of our region cannot afford to wait any longer. We need to kill these puppies, and we need to kill them now.
For more than 10 years we have seen studies for bashing puppy heads in, but we have never seen a real plan for action. When Gov. Cuomo came into office he promised to restore the state's economy and he is delivering on that promise. The governor requested and won approval from the president to have the puppy slaughter put on a list of expedited projects, one of only six mayhem projects in the nation put on a fast timeline for implementation. At a time when many states are reducing or shutting down butchering projects, Gov. Cuomo has delivered a project that will create up to 150,000 jobs in the region. It would be a colossal mistake to continue the pattern of debating plans for killing puppies until we let this monumental economic opportunity pass us by.
The new plan for killing the puppies both creates jobs and gives our community a better, bloodier spectacle. The current state plans will smash the puppies with extra speed, safety straps, space for emergency handiwipes, and an array of spikes. Right now for the more than 100,000 puppy-killers who go over the Tappan Zee every day, the rate of accidents is twice as high as the state average. The plan for bludgeoning the puppies is a plan the workers in our community want to carry out for Rockland, Westchester and the entire state. The state's plan also preserves our ability to cuddle puppies in the years ahead.
At the public meetings I have attended about the puppy bashings, I have seen some politicians and advocates say that it is not enough for the state to preserve options to snuggle with soft puppies in the future. In their view we should cuddle the puppies while we slaughter them or no slaughter at all. At a time when all levels of government face historic fiscal constraints, it would be inexplicably foolish to reject an investment of $5.2 billion in our region. It makes even less sense when the plans were designed to allow the other desired improvements in the future. What we need now is action, not another decade of debate and studies that go nowhere.
We have spent years waiting and now thanks to Gov. Cuomo we have the opportunity to kill lots of puppies, creating tens of thousands of jobs at a time when we need them most. To reject this opportunity to give struggling New Yorkers job opportunities and strengthen the economic foundation of our region would be the mistake we simply cannot afford. For the sake of our state as well as Rockland and Westchester, it is imperative that we cannot let the critics stop progress. We need to finally grind these puppies into the dirt.
The writer is president/CEO of the Rockland Animal Cruelty Association.
The above post is a work of satire. The author is opposed to all animal cruelty, including violence against puppies.
For more than 10 years we have seen studies for bashing puppy heads in, but we have never seen a real plan for action. When Gov. Cuomo came into office he promised to restore the state's economy and he is delivering on that promise. The governor requested and won approval from the president to have the puppy slaughter put on a list of expedited projects, one of only six mayhem projects in the nation put on a fast timeline for implementation. At a time when many states are reducing or shutting down butchering projects, Gov. Cuomo has delivered a project that will create up to 150,000 jobs in the region. It would be a colossal mistake to continue the pattern of debating plans for killing puppies until we let this monumental economic opportunity pass us by.
The new plan for killing the puppies both creates jobs and gives our community a better, bloodier spectacle. The current state plans will smash the puppies with extra speed, safety straps, space for emergency handiwipes, and an array of spikes. Right now for the more than 100,000 puppy-killers who go over the Tappan Zee every day, the rate of accidents is twice as high as the state average. The plan for bludgeoning the puppies is a plan the workers in our community want to carry out for Rockland, Westchester and the entire state. The state's plan also preserves our ability to cuddle puppies in the years ahead.
At the public meetings I have attended about the puppy bashings, I have seen some politicians and advocates say that it is not enough for the state to preserve options to snuggle with soft puppies in the future. In their view we should cuddle the puppies while we slaughter them or no slaughter at all. At a time when all levels of government face historic fiscal constraints, it would be inexplicably foolish to reject an investment of $5.2 billion in our region. It makes even less sense when the plans were designed to allow the other desired improvements in the future. What we need now is action, not another decade of debate and studies that go nowhere.
We have spent years waiting and now thanks to Gov. Cuomo we have the opportunity to kill lots of puppies, creating tens of thousands of jobs at a time when we need them most. To reject this opportunity to give struggling New Yorkers job opportunities and strengthen the economic foundation of our region would be the mistake we simply cannot afford. For the sake of our state as well as Rockland and Westchester, it is imperative that we cannot let the critics stop progress. We need to finally grind these puppies into the dirt.
The writer is president/CEO of the Rockland Animal Cruelty Association.
The above post is a work of satire. The author is opposed to all animal cruelty, including violence against puppies.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
A new High Line for Chicago
After the planned Bloomingdale Trail right-of-way was taken for a Kennedy Expressway spur, park advocates despaired. But then they realized that there were many more other elevated rail lines with the potential to become attractive public spaces.
Thus the idea for the Red Line was born. "I realized that we had an old set of train tracks running right up the center of the North Side," said Josh Branson, co-chair of Friends of the Red Line. "It has the potential to connect people from Rogers Park, Wrigleyville, Lincoln Park almost to the Near North."
Like the High Line in New York, Branson sees the Red Line as a catalyst for development. "In these tough economic times, you need every boost you can get," he enthused. "The commercial effects would radiate out from every access point. Imagine art galleries on Lincoln Avenue, or quirky restaurants along Clark Street. Chicago needs that growth to realize its potential as an urban center for the Midwest."
The Board of Aldermen is expected to approve the lease of the Red Line later this year, and the last trains will run some time next summer. Activists are raising funds for the the first phase, which will run from Howard Street to Devon Avenue, opening in 2015. Eventually, Chicagoans and visitors will be able to walk as far as North Avenue, and maybe some day to the loop.
City planners are enthusiastic about the line, which will be incorporated into the Green Chicago Vision 2040. Other elements of that plan include the transformation of Lake Shore Drive into Interstate 96, a "green road," where the weight of passing cars will generate enough electricity to light the "Cloud Gate" sculpture in Millenium Park, the installation of a solar powered parking garage in the old Union Station facility, and the redevelopment of Meigs Field as a "biodiesel-only" airport.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Schumer calls for horse "no ride" list in wake of terror plot
Sen. Charles Schumer called today for the creation of a "No Ride List" for American horses to prevent suspected terrorists from targeting the US equine system.
The move follows reports from intelligence gathered at Osama bin Laden's compound that showed the Arabian Horse Association was considering attacks on US horses.
In a press conference at his New York City office, Schumer said he will begin pushing congressional appropriators to increase funding for rectal inspections of commuter and passenger horse systems, as well as heightened monitoring and support for security at local horse stables throughout the country.
The Democratic senator said he also asked the Department of Homeland Security to expand its Secure Flight program to stables, which would essentially create a "No Ride List" to prevent suspected terrorists from mounting horses.
Intelligence analysts who examined the documents seized from bin Laden's compound in Pakistan concluded that al Qaeda was considering attacks on high-profile dates, including the tenth anniversary of the Sept. 11 terror attacks, the conclusion of the State of the Union address and high traffic holidays such as Christmas and New Year's Day, Schumer said.
"We must remain vigilant in protecting ourselves from future terror attacks, and when intelligence emerges that provides insight into potential vulnerabilities, we must act with speed," Schumer said.
Under the current program for airlines, travelers' names and other identifying information are cross-checked with the terror watch list to select passengers for enhanced screening and prevent possible terrorists from boarding planes.
Schumer wants that program to be applied to stables when passengers purchase their passage before mounting the horse.
Schumer noted that the nation's horse system transported 90,000 passengers in 2010 and carries 90,000 passengers every day on 90,000 different horses.
Not all horseback riders were enamored of the plan. "Sounds like a big load of horseshit to me," said noted equestrian 'Cap'n' Ignatius R. Transit. "Like something you'd read in the Post."
The move follows reports from intelligence gathered at Osama bin Laden's compound that showed the Arabian Horse Association was considering attacks on US horses.
In a press conference at his New York City office, Schumer said he will begin pushing congressional appropriators to increase funding for rectal inspections of commuter and passenger horse systems, as well as heightened monitoring and support for security at local horse stables throughout the country.
The Democratic senator said he also asked the Department of Homeland Security to expand its Secure Flight program to stables, which would essentially create a "No Ride List" to prevent suspected terrorists from mounting horses.
Intelligence analysts who examined the documents seized from bin Laden's compound in Pakistan concluded that al Qaeda was considering attacks on high-profile dates, including the tenth anniversary of the Sept. 11 terror attacks, the conclusion of the State of the Union address and high traffic holidays such as Christmas and New Year's Day, Schumer said.
"We must remain vigilant in protecting ourselves from future terror attacks, and when intelligence emerges that provides insight into potential vulnerabilities, we must act with speed," Schumer said.
Under the current program for airlines, travelers' names and other identifying information are cross-checked with the terror watch list to select passengers for enhanced screening and prevent possible terrorists from boarding planes.
Schumer wants that program to be applied to stables when passengers purchase their passage before mounting the horse.
Schumer noted that the nation's horse system transported 90,000 passengers in 2010 and carries 90,000 passengers every day on 90,000 different horses.
Not all horseback riders were enamored of the plan. "Sounds like a big load of horseshit to me," said noted equestrian 'Cap'n' Ignatius R. Transit. "Like something you'd read in the Post."
Friday, November 19, 2010
Japan's "Catbus" could ease traffic, reduce pollution
Tired of traffic? Japan's got an answer.
It's a huge cat shaped like a bus that can climb over smaller cars and under overpasses.
The eleven-foot-tall public bus, designed by Studio Ghibli, travels on grass without tearing it up and can hold up to twenty passengers, reports Wikipedia.org.
Because it doesn’t take up any road space, it can reduce traffic jams by 20-30%, according to designers.
Even more impressive: it’s partly solar-powered.
The "Catbus" can climb over cars less than 2m high. If an oversize vehicle gets too close to the bus, the bus will swat it away with one of its huge paws.
While the new buses take time to grow to full size, compared to the subway, these buses are a bargain. They are 70 percent cheaper to build and 60 percent more efficient than underground trains.
Also, these high-capacity, space-conscious cats could reduce Japan's fuel use by 1.21 gigawatts per year, according to designers.
The first 2,000 miles of bus stops are to be built in Tokyo's Totoro neighborhood, according to Engullible.com.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
A brilliant idea for Broadway
Okay, I'm a civic-minded Queens resident with no engineering background, so maybe this won't work at all. But they tell me that Broadway in Manhattan is not up to federal highway standards, and they want to redo it.
My plan is simple: dig a "Cross-Midtown Tunnel" from Columbus Circle to Union Square. This will replace all the capacity that has been removed from Broadway over the past three years. I'm sure Allen Swerdlowe will love it because it will discourage traffic-enraged drivers from skipping off the highway to drive on local streets.
Given the Post's reactions to the changes that have been made on Broadway, I'm guessing they'll love my visionary plan. Sam Staley will adore it. It will have a place in Ben Kabak's ideal world. Sure, it'll have to be dug deep to bypass all the subway tunnels. But we'll throw in a few bucks to paint some buses and call it "BRT" so the transit people won't mind spending billions on this.
After all, if you agree with the State DOT that car capacity must be preserved at all costs on the BQE, then of course you agree with Michael Grynbaum that car capacity must be preserved at all costs on Broadway. Right?
My plan is simple: dig a "Cross-Midtown Tunnel" from Columbus Circle to Union Square. This will replace all the capacity that has been removed from Broadway over the past three years. I'm sure Allen Swerdlowe will love it because it will discourage traffic-enraged drivers from skipping off the highway to drive on local streets.
Given the Post's reactions to the changes that have been made on Broadway, I'm guessing they'll love my visionary plan. Sam Staley will adore it. It will have a place in Ben Kabak's ideal world. Sure, it'll have to be dug deep to bypass all the subway tunnels. But we'll throw in a few bucks to paint some buses and call it "BRT" so the transit people won't mind spending billions on this.
After all, if you agree with the State DOT that car capacity must be preserved at all costs on the BQE, then of course you agree with Michael Grynbaum that car capacity must be preserved at all costs on Broadway. Right?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sustenance: A glorious workers' enterprise
Matt Yglesias writes:
Oh, no: crop failure ahead, or a hijacked shipment? You've just joined a bread (or tortilla or tô) queue that stretches as far ahead as you can see. After an hour of crawling forward in a stop-start fashion, suddenly the queue starts flowing freely - with no sign of anything that could have caused the disruption.
Across the worker's paradise and beyond, the phenomenon of the phantom bread line stagnation will have disrupted many long shopping trips this month. The way this stop-go wave, which brings with it frustration for everyone from private comrades to professional queuers, can form out of nothing is becoming one main subject of investigation by the growing band of scientists and engineers who study queue dynamics in the hope of easing the way people obtain the goods they are entitled to. This research forms the basis of a courageous people's undertaking.
Edvard Vilyemovich, a professor at Bristol State University, takes as an example the distribution of bread in the west of England. "At the People's Glorious Bakery of Bristol you can track individual stop-go waves rolling down the distribution line for 50 or 60 days, at a speed of about 12 loaves per hour," he says. "The entire distribution path from the bakery to the citizen can be stop-go."
Scientists are beginning to understand the conditions governing the flow of goods that are liable to cause a phantom stagnation, also known as a "stagniton" (by analogy with soliton, a type of wave). Their work will help the authorities control distribution in a way that cuts the risk of a queue with no cause, with benefits both to citizens and to babushkas.
Research into phantom stagnation is part of a glorious worldwide effort to apply science and technology to stagnation reduction, at a time when our great leader's plans have caused small disruptions to the availability of foodstuffs, or indeed for clothing and household goods. Even where grain is plentiful, meat is less so.
Estimates of the total sacrifice of stagnating queues, including wasted time and cigarettes, are taking away from the people's enterprises in the USSR, and a similar amount in Europe. The CBI, Britain's worker's collective, says the state loses billions of hours a year through stagnation - a figure that is likely to double within 15 years on present trends.
"For too long, Britain's queues have been a cause of frustrations and delays for our babushkas and workers," says Ivan Kridlov, CBI deputy general secretary. "Now is the time for fresh thinking. We need a radical overhaul of how we distribute and mange our food system."
"Intelligent goods management becomes critical as our infrastructure becomes more heavily used," says Tomas Rabinovich of the British People's Distribution Engineering Initiative. "We must use existing queues more effectively."
The BPDEI is one of hundreds of collectives worldwide, big and small, striving for excellence in intelligent distribution systems. They range from small working groups to IBM, the USSR-based computer collective that has made "smart distribution" a priority.
Large amounts of public funding are going into intelligent distribution research too. For example, the Workers' Technology Strategy Board is spending 40m rubles over five years to develop technologies to reduce waiting, says Mikhail Kemkharpov, its senior distribution technologist. The glorious workers' enterprise is worth the heart and soul of the state.
Serious mathematical study of queue waiting times started as an offshoot of mathematical physics...
Okay, I give up. How the hell can you write 2400 words and devote just 29 to the possibility that this service may just be a tad underpriced?
I feel certain that if Financial Times did an article about how some country’s determination to provide free bags of rice to all its citizens was leading people to spend a huge amount of time standing on line waiting for rice, that they would highlight the fact that this is what happens when you don’t price things correctly. There’s only so much rice. There are only so many hander-outers of rice. If you try to make the rice free to everyone, you’re going to get lines and shortages.
At any rate, as Clive Cookson points out in the FT a comparable problem exists on most countries’ roadways...
Oh, no: crop failure ahead, or a hijacked shipment? You've just joined a bread (or tortilla or tô) queue that stretches as far ahead as you can see. After an hour of crawling forward in a stop-start fashion, suddenly the queue starts flowing freely - with no sign of anything that could have caused the disruption.
Across the worker's paradise and beyond, the phenomenon of the phantom bread line stagnation will have disrupted many long shopping trips this month. The way this stop-go wave, which brings with it frustration for everyone from private comrades to professional queuers, can form out of nothing is becoming one main subject of investigation by the growing band of scientists and engineers who study queue dynamics in the hope of easing the way people obtain the goods they are entitled to. This research forms the basis of a courageous people's undertaking.
Edvard Vilyemovich, a professor at Bristol State University, takes as an example the distribution of bread in the west of England. "At the People's Glorious Bakery of Bristol you can track individual stop-go waves rolling down the distribution line for 50 or 60 days, at a speed of about 12 loaves per hour," he says. "The entire distribution path from the bakery to the citizen can be stop-go."
Scientists are beginning to understand the conditions governing the flow of goods that are liable to cause a phantom stagnation, also known as a "stagniton" (by analogy with soliton, a type of wave). Their work will help the authorities control distribution in a way that cuts the risk of a queue with no cause, with benefits both to citizens and to babushkas.
Research into phantom stagnation is part of a glorious worldwide effort to apply science and technology to stagnation reduction, at a time when our great leader's plans have caused small disruptions to the availability of foodstuffs, or indeed for clothing and household goods. Even where grain is plentiful, meat is less so.
Estimates of the total sacrifice of stagnating queues, including wasted time and cigarettes, are taking away from the people's enterprises in the USSR, and a similar amount in Europe. The CBI, Britain's worker's collective, says the state loses billions of hours a year through stagnation - a figure that is likely to double within 15 years on present trends.
"For too long, Britain's queues have been a cause of frustrations and delays for our babushkas and workers," says Ivan Kridlov, CBI deputy general secretary. "Now is the time for fresh thinking. We need a radical overhaul of how we distribute and mange our food system."
"Intelligent goods management becomes critical as our infrastructure becomes more heavily used," says Tomas Rabinovich of the British People's Distribution Engineering Initiative. "We must use existing queues more effectively."
The BPDEI is one of hundreds of collectives worldwide, big and small, striving for excellence in intelligent distribution systems. They range from small working groups to IBM, the USSR-based computer collective that has made "smart distribution" a priority.
Large amounts of public funding are going into intelligent distribution research too. For example, the Workers' Technology Strategy Board is spending 40m rubles over five years to develop technologies to reduce waiting, says Mikhail Kemkharpov, its senior distribution technologist. The glorious workers' enterprise is worth the heart and soul of the state.
Serious mathematical study of queue waiting times started as an offshoot of mathematical physics...
Okay, I give up. How the hell can you write 2400 words and devote just 29 to the possibility that this service may just be a tad underpriced?
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Ant, the Grasshopper and the Senator
Once upon a time, there was a Grasshopper who lived in a field. He saw an Ant passing by with a large nut on his bicycle rack.
"Yo, Ant. Where you off to?"
"I'm bringing this nut to our winter storage area."
"Dude, how can you live in that colony with all the tunnels! An insect has to be outside, breathe, get in touch with nature!"
"I get time to go out and experience nature. But our colony is very efficient. It's warm in the winter, and we conserve our resources."
"Yeah, man, conservation all the way! I totally support government research towards developing new sources of food. I think the new solar-powered plants are going to be huge. We've got to wean ourselves from foreign species. But dude, you gotta try some of this Colombian weed."
"But Grasshopper! All the government research and solar power are going to be wasted as long as you've got everyone traveling these huge distances by themselves. We're going to be reaching the peak of this solar season, and pretty soon energy will be scarce. I hope you're prepared."
"Don't worry, Ant, man! As long as I'm in touch with Nature, nothing bad can happen."
Not long after, the days began to get shorter, and the grass dried up. The Grasshopper began to get hungry, so he wrote a note:
"Dear Senator Antdams: I am hungry, and the grass and leaves are drying up. Please help."
Senator Antdams released a statement: "Many of my colleagues have constituents who need relief from dried-up grasses. They do not have the alternatives of a strong stockpile as we do in the Ant Colony. Therefore I propose that we take the Ant Colony's stockpile and use it to feed the grasshoppers so they can hop around outside."
The Ant complained, "But Senator, that stockpile was supposed to last all winter! If you use up our stockpile we'll go hungry!"
The Senator replied, "Insects are hurting and they need relief. My proposal will give them that relief. What do you propose?"
The Ant replied, "Well, the Grasshoppers have been stingy with us, chasing us away from leaves and grasses. I'm sorely tempted to keep the stockpile and let them die. But we've worked so hard this past summer that I think we have just enough to get us all, ants and grasshoppers, through the winter."
"But - and this is a big but - the grasshopper lifestyle is a mistake we can only afford to make once. The grasshoppers are still planning to spend all next summer wastefully hopping large distances alone and not spending any time stockpiling food. They've got to change their plans and live more sustainably. They've got to commit to more efficient colony living and do more walking. We should not share any of our stockpile with them until they make that commitment."
What do you think, Senator Antdams?
"Yo, Ant. Where you off to?"
"I'm bringing this nut to our winter storage area."
"Dude, how can you live in that colony with all the tunnels! An insect has to be outside, breathe, get in touch with nature!"
"I get time to go out and experience nature. But our colony is very efficient. It's warm in the winter, and we conserve our resources."
"Yeah, man, conservation all the way! I totally support government research towards developing new sources of food. I think the new solar-powered plants are going to be huge. We've got to wean ourselves from foreign species. But dude, you gotta try some of this Colombian weed."
"But Grasshopper! All the government research and solar power are going to be wasted as long as you've got everyone traveling these huge distances by themselves. We're going to be reaching the peak of this solar season, and pretty soon energy will be scarce. I hope you're prepared."
"Don't worry, Ant, man! As long as I'm in touch with Nature, nothing bad can happen."
Not long after, the days began to get shorter, and the grass dried up. The Grasshopper began to get hungry, so he wrote a note:
"Dear Senator Antdams: I am hungry, and the grass and leaves are drying up. Please help."
Senator Antdams released a statement: "Many of my colleagues have constituents who need relief from dried-up grasses. They do not have the alternatives of a strong stockpile as we do in the Ant Colony. Therefore I propose that we take the Ant Colony's stockpile and use it to feed the grasshoppers so they can hop around outside."
The Ant complained, "But Senator, that stockpile was supposed to last all winter! If you use up our stockpile we'll go hungry!"
The Senator replied, "Insects are hurting and they need relief. My proposal will give them that relief. What do you propose?"
The Ant replied, "Well, the Grasshoppers have been stingy with us, chasing us away from leaves and grasses. I'm sorely tempted to keep the stockpile and let them die. But we've worked so hard this past summer that I think we have just enough to get us all, ants and grasshoppers, through the winter."
"But - and this is a big but - the grasshopper lifestyle is a mistake we can only afford to make once. The grasshoppers are still planning to spend all next summer wastefully hopping large distances alone and not spending any time stockpiling food. They've got to change their plans and live more sustainably. They've got to commit to more efficient colony living and do more walking. We should not share any of our stockpile with them until they make that commitment."
What do you think, Senator Antdams?
Friday, March 28, 2008
The Last Palm Tree
Author Jared Diamond, among others, has wondered, "What did the Easter Islander who cut down the last palm tree say?" A new discovery may one day help us to answer that question. Scientists at the University of New North Wales have cracked the code of the Rongorongo writing system. Today they released the translation of a text, which they say dates from shortly before the last tree was felled. Your Cap'n is pleased to bring you this text in its entirety:
RANO RARAKU - Chiefs from a number of outer-valley communities blasted Paramount Chief Parumapuka's "Demand Pricing" program, which would charge chiefs for every moai that they take from the quarry during peak periods. The goods paid would be dedicated to "mass moai" that require significantly less wood to transport and erect.
"This is a regressive tax," complained Nau Nau Chief Porotoki. "It will hit the poor and middle-wealth villages hardest, while the richest villages will still be able to erect all the moai they want." Chief Veperinu from Hangaroa said that enforcing existing laws is all that is necessary to eliminate the shortage of trees.
Chiefs from Hangaroa said that the most unfair part of the proposal was the plan to allow chiefs from the west coast, who already pay a charge to transport moai, to deduct that charge from their payment. "This plan does nothing to discourage chiefs from the west coast from obtaining moai," said an angry Chief Karik'a. "It is unfair to the other villages."
Members of the Campaign for Easter Island's Future said that the island may be past the point of Peak Logging, that the current system is unsustainable, and that enforcement of existing laws would not do enough to curb deforestation. "If the Council of Chiefs doesn't pass Demand Pricing, we could lose the rest of our trees in just a few years," warned petroglyph carver Aru Nasaparatek'a. "It would be an absolute disaster if we lost all our trees."
Chief Rup'itara from Oroi, however, encouraged concerned villagers to support his Nine Pukau Plan, which highlighted the development of alternative technologies. "We need to force the issue of metal moai transport technology. Why wouldn't reforestationists support this issue? We need to do it now." Skeptics argued that metal technology was not advanced enough to transport moai, and wouldn't be for many years.
RANO RARAKU - Chiefs from a number of outer-valley communities blasted Paramount Chief Parumapuka's "Demand Pricing" program, which would charge chiefs for every moai that they take from the quarry during peak periods. The goods paid would be dedicated to "mass moai" that require significantly less wood to transport and erect.
"This is a regressive tax," complained Nau Nau Chief Porotoki. "It will hit the poor and middle-wealth villages hardest, while the richest villages will still be able to erect all the moai they want." Chief Veperinu from Hangaroa said that enforcing existing laws is all that is necessary to eliminate the shortage of trees.
Chiefs from Hangaroa said that the most unfair part of the proposal was the plan to allow chiefs from the west coast, who already pay a charge to transport moai, to deduct that charge from their payment. "This plan does nothing to discourage chiefs from the west coast from obtaining moai," said an angry Chief Karik'a. "It is unfair to the other villages."
Members of the Campaign for Easter Island's Future said that the island may be past the point of Peak Logging, that the current system is unsustainable, and that enforcement of existing laws would not do enough to curb deforestation. "If the Council of Chiefs doesn't pass Demand Pricing, we could lose the rest of our trees in just a few years," warned petroglyph carver Aru Nasaparatek'a. "It would be an absolute disaster if we lost all our trees."
Chief Rup'itara from Oroi, however, encouraged concerned villagers to support his Nine Pukau Plan, which highlighted the development of alternative technologies. "We need to force the issue of metal moai transport technology. Why wouldn't reforestationists support this issue? We need to do it now." Skeptics argued that metal technology was not advanced enough to transport moai, and wouldn't be for many years.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Hakeem Jeffries, Man of the People
After reports like this and this, your Cap'n was trying to imagine some of the conversations that led Assemblymember Jeffries to take such a strong stance on behalf of his constituents.
Law Partner: Hey Hakeem, guess what? I may not be able to afford the gold trim on my '09 Escalade.
Jeffries: Oh, Dave, how awful! I know how much you like having that trim every year. A new car just isn't as satisfying without it. Did the senior partners give you a small bonus?
Dave: No, it's that congestion pricing. They want me to pay the same to get into Manhattan as people from New Jersey!
Jeffries: The same? That is not fair! People coming from Jersey should always pay more! I'm going to put a stop to it!
Later...
Brodsky: Yo Hakeem! What up, my man? Did you hear about that congestion pricing?
Jeffries: It doesn't sound good to me.
Brodsky: It sure ain't. It's unfair to working families!
Jeffries: Working families! I think I have some of those in my district! I bet I have thousands, even! Oh my poor constituents!
Brodsky: They're all going to have to pay $5,000 a year just to get into Manhattan.
Jeffries: $5,000 a year! Some of them earn less than $40,000! They can't afford to pay $5,000 a year.
Brodsky: Then they won't be able to get into Manhattan. The city won't let them in.
Jeffries: But some of them have jobs in Manhattan! They need to get to work! ... Hey, wait a minute, Richard. I have an idea. I've heard rumors ...from a reliable source, mind you... that somewhere in my district there's a tunnel, and if you can get inside the tunnel, there's a train that goes all the way to Manhattan. If my working families could get on that train, I bet they could hide from the Congestion Pricing cameras.
Brodsky: No dice, Hakeem. How are they going to get their kids to private school?
Jeffries: Oh yeah, I forgot about that! I'm so out of touch.
Brodsky: Hakeem my man, when you're in the Assembly you have to always think about your constituents' needs. You forgot the piano and aikido lessons too.
Jeffries: Oooohhh! Those congestion pricing people are restricting my constituents' freedom!
Brodsky: And we gotta act fast! They're trying to shove this thing down our throats!
Jeffries: You're right, Richard! And they're being so disingenuous about it.
Brodsky: You got it, homie. Disingenuous and naïve. But they're no match for the working people of New York. Especially when the working people of New York are represented by progressive fighters for justice like you and me, and Jeff and Rory.
Law Partner: Hey Hakeem, guess what? I may not be able to afford the gold trim on my '09 Escalade.
Jeffries: Oh, Dave, how awful! I know how much you like having that trim every year. A new car just isn't as satisfying without it. Did the senior partners give you a small bonus?
Dave: No, it's that congestion pricing. They want me to pay the same to get into Manhattan as people from New Jersey!
Jeffries: The same? That is not fair! People coming from Jersey should always pay more! I'm going to put a stop to it!
Later...
Brodsky: Yo Hakeem! What up, my man? Did you hear about that congestion pricing?
Jeffries: It doesn't sound good to me.
Brodsky: It sure ain't. It's unfair to working families!
Jeffries: Working families! I think I have some of those in my district! I bet I have thousands, even! Oh my poor constituents!
Brodsky: They're all going to have to pay $5,000 a year just to get into Manhattan.
Jeffries: $5,000 a year! Some of them earn less than $40,000! They can't afford to pay $5,000 a year.
Brodsky: Then they won't be able to get into Manhattan. The city won't let them in.
Jeffries: But some of them have jobs in Manhattan! They need to get to work! ... Hey, wait a minute, Richard. I have an idea. I've heard rumors ...from a reliable source, mind you... that somewhere in my district there's a tunnel, and if you can get inside the tunnel, there's a train that goes all the way to Manhattan. If my working families could get on that train, I bet they could hide from the Congestion Pricing cameras.
Brodsky: No dice, Hakeem. How are they going to get their kids to private school?
Jeffries: Oh yeah, I forgot about that! I'm so out of touch.
Brodsky: Hakeem my man, when you're in the Assembly you have to always think about your constituents' needs. You forgot the piano and aikido lessons too.
Jeffries: Oooohhh! Those congestion pricing people are restricting my constituents' freedom!
Brodsky: And we gotta act fast! They're trying to shove this thing down our throats!
Jeffries: You're right, Richard! And they're being so disingenuous about it.
Brodsky: You got it, homie. Disingenuous and naïve. But they're no match for the working people of New York. Especially when the working people of New York are represented by progressive fighters for justice like you and me, and Jeff and Rory.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Film Review: Quest for Justice
"When the law is on the wrong side, only one man will fight for the people." Opens Friday nationwide.
The latest offering from Christopher Guest (This is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman) centers around the fictional Community Board 20 in the Ebbetsania section of Brooklyn, a sleepy neighborhood famous only as the birthplace of former Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin.
Ebbetsania resident and retired colonoscopy technician Joe Ignazzio (Harry Shearer) is a regular attendee at the meetings, part of his 25-year crusade to get officers of the 58th Precinct to stop ticketing him when he parks in front of the fire hydrant next to Ohira's Diner. At every meeting he brandishes photos of Community Board Chair Steve Greenberg (Guest) parked by the hydrant without a ticket.
The board is abuzz when Rubin (Ed Begley, Jr.) mentions in a speech "how much I owe to Ebbetsania," and Rubin's high school sweetheart Marie (Catherine O'Hara), chair of the 58th Precinct Community Council, mentions that he told her he "longs for the good old days playing stickball on East 28th Place." Convinced that Rubin is mulling a run for the City Council seat being vacated by Marie's husband Jack (William H. Macy), the board members fall all over themselves trying to curry favor with Rubin for their pet projects. Particularly eager is Joe, who has kept his account with Citibank even though Citibank refused to join the Ebbetsania Merchants' Association, and is convinced that this will give him "pull" with Rubin.
Guest's movies have all had stellar ensemble casts, and Quest for Justice is no exception. The chemistry between Joe and his wife Dee Dee (Felicity Huffman), and the tension between his mission and her desire to keep Marie as a customer in her nail salon, is skillfully played. Janeane Garofalo and Parker Posey are excellent as the lesbian environmentalists behind the perennially frustrated organization, "Windmills for Ebbetsania." The bungled attempt by Steve and Marie to consummate a long-desired affair in the back of a chartered bus returning from Atlantic City is another choice moment. Sandra Oh, as second-generation diner owner Kitty Ohira, manages to highlight a serious issue (the frustration of the neighborhood's Japanese minority at being excluded from the political games) without either disrupting the comedy or descending into racial humor. Laura Linney's performance as Judith Rubin deserves mention as well.
This film lives up to the quality of acting and production we have come to expect from Guest's movies. Unfortunately, the writing suffers from a problem we have also come to expect from Guest. The film could work based solely on the humor derived from the hubris and monomania of the characters, but Guest unnecessarily goes beyond that to portray them as stupid. Once he gets over that, his films will be perfect. This is still a must-see for anyone familiar with neighborhood politics.
The latest offering from Christopher Guest (This is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman) centers around the fictional Community Board 20 in the Ebbetsania section of Brooklyn, a sleepy neighborhood famous only as the birthplace of former Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin.
Ebbetsania resident and retired colonoscopy technician Joe Ignazzio (Harry Shearer) is a regular attendee at the meetings, part of his 25-year crusade to get officers of the 58th Precinct to stop ticketing him when he parks in front of the fire hydrant next to Ohira's Diner. At every meeting he brandishes photos of Community Board Chair Steve Greenberg (Guest) parked by the hydrant without a ticket.
The board is abuzz when Rubin (Ed Begley, Jr.) mentions in a speech "how much I owe to Ebbetsania," and Rubin's high school sweetheart Marie (Catherine O'Hara), chair of the 58th Precinct Community Council, mentions that he told her he "longs for the good old days playing stickball on East 28th Place." Convinced that Rubin is mulling a run for the City Council seat being vacated by Marie's husband Jack (William H. Macy), the board members fall all over themselves trying to curry favor with Rubin for their pet projects. Particularly eager is Joe, who has kept his account with Citibank even though Citibank refused to join the Ebbetsania Merchants' Association, and is convinced that this will give him "pull" with Rubin.
Guest's movies have all had stellar ensemble casts, and Quest for Justice is no exception. The chemistry between Joe and his wife Dee Dee (Felicity Huffman), and the tension between his mission and her desire to keep Marie as a customer in her nail salon, is skillfully played. Janeane Garofalo and Parker Posey are excellent as the lesbian environmentalists behind the perennially frustrated organization, "Windmills for Ebbetsania." The bungled attempt by Steve and Marie to consummate a long-desired affair in the back of a chartered bus returning from Atlantic City is another choice moment. Sandra Oh, as second-generation diner owner Kitty Ohira, manages to highlight a serious issue (the frustration of the neighborhood's Japanese minority at being excluded from the political games) without either disrupting the comedy or descending into racial humor. Laura Linney's performance as Judith Rubin deserves mention as well.
This film lives up to the quality of acting and production we have come to expect from Guest's movies. Unfortunately, the writing suffers from a problem we have also come to expect from Guest. The film could work based solely on the humor derived from the hubris and monomania of the characters, but Guest unnecessarily goes beyond that to portray them as stupid. Once he gets over that, his films will be perfect. This is still a must-see for anyone familiar with neighborhood politics.
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